drOwn inTo yOur LoVe

take my hand when you want to dance

dance together in the music of life

hug my back when moving with you

and keep me in your heart

lead my body and soul following your thoughts

thoughts about loving,caring

and understand each other

take me dive with you

drown into your love world

teach me how to breath and survive in your world

there are so many differences and difficulties

the same thing we are human being

and we love each other

keep my hand always

company me

and lead me to take decision in this life

decision about loving you

whole my life

wHy yOu CamE bAcK?

you are the only one who i have,

i love you...

that's your reasons if i asked

why you came back?

you had hurt me, honey

u left in autumn

with say nothing

i used to crazy on you

like the wind of autumn

loved you more than anything

you took my breath away

you let me dying

without your self beside me

dried like fragile branchs and leafs in that season

now, you came back

come back like we used to be

but, i'm different now

you won't see the same girl

you won't feel the same heart

because i have no heart

to trusth

to faithfull

and to love you

there's no space for you

you can back home to your world

which we never meet

never talk

and never ask

why you used to came back?

untitled...

dont speak!

im tired

don't hurt me if u not loving me

don't lie me if u never want me

i understood

if u have her for breathing

cos impossible u leave her

i knew

all about you of both,

that was why i respect when you rejected my love

you just want to be my friend, only friend

but it was only in your mouth

the truth is you seduced me,

with that lovely looking eyes,

romantic flirts,

sexy kisses,

touches,

behind her

u go to her

be faithful to her

no more seduce me

no more be friend with me

not this friendship which i want from u

juNe's sMiLe on feBruaRy...

June met him on 1st July
first impression never forget!
his smile and charming face
always adorned june's heart.
every single days june always in his side...
July and August they always together as friend.
share
care
and try understand each other
on September, june was falling in love to him....
"oh NO...!"
infact he wasn't single man anymore!
but june cant deny her feeling,
she had wonderfull courage to tell
and he said "i like u as friend only, june..."
september had destroy june's heart
june disappointed...
cried
and desperate
but she kept loving his bestfriend
october, he appologized and falling in love to june
november, he said "i love u, june"
they love each other...
desember would be unforgetable moment...
spent a lot of time in joy and tears together
but, in january he betrayed her...
his lie erased all the memories
only tears
sorrows
and sadness
june thought, she would never loving again
when tears almost end...
when february came, there are a pair of hands, hugs, warms with friendship
june seen new hopes, new dreams and new chance
love and sincerely friendship
which made june smile again
the most beautiful smiles on february...

teLL mE tHe rEasons...

Given alive in this earth is a chance

a chance to fix all our falses
a chance to fix with appologizes
a chance to fix with loving
we were created by God as the only one
one soul
one thought
one heart
with thousand dreams and hopes

soul for live

thought for think

heart for feel

to look for

the answer
if Loves make so happy, why the God created betrayal and hates?
if white so fun, why black is created?
if laughs warming the heart, why we have tears?
if fellowship make us alive, why are there friends who betrayed us?

if sincerely friendship so lovely, why are created hates in enemies?

and another questions...

hE iSn't a LitTle bOy anYmorE...

i almost forget his name when i heard his voice
forget his looks like and only a little boys figure
which stuck in my brain
how could him...
forgot all thing when i see him in a glance
erased the memories in my past
only his charm adorning my brain
separated many years
he used to just friend in my past
nothing special, he just quite and freaky boy
but how could God changed him
from dark ducky to be prince of swan
glurious and glams
How could him...
erased the someone's story
which stuck in my heart
just in a glance looking eyes
How could him...
make me addicted
missing his face
looking eyes
smile
How could God changed him
cos he just frozen me
with his smile
yeah...he is changed now
he isn't a little boy anymore

nO mOre bLinD mE

i am laying my body in the bed

resting the soul, mind and heart

im tired...

i close my eyes

release all things in my mind

after all those lies, breathing for him

after all those tears, unbelieving

that he had lie to me

he spoke that i'm his best thing

in fact i'm the last one who know the truth

he said he would do anything for me

but the truth is he made me dying

with his acting

i am laying my head in another shoulder

cos im tired...

no more disturb me

no more anger from ur side

u cant force what u want

cos ur acting will not blind me

i used to fragile

but not now

cos i know how to face u

ur acting will not blind me

your eyes cant lie

Rain and tears are same

they are falling down from the God source

Rain from sky, and tears from your eyes

God has created that eyes, just for killing me softly

i felt coming in the storm when i saw that tears

i could see the sunshine from your looking eyes

i could see the cloudy sky when you close your eyes

i could see your sorrow inside that looking

and i could see how much you need him

without you say

your eyes couldn't lie to me
i was acceptable by your self, but denied by your heart

cause your eyes couldn't lie to me

it's attractive

alive

and seductive

but untouchable

cause it's only pretend me

do not looking at me with that way

it will killing me softly

cause i know in your heart

your eyes cant lie to me anymore

hUjaN & aNgiN

Saat badai, hujan dan angin selalu bersama

menggelegar, gemuruh bersahutan

berkawan untuk selalu bersama

berkorban untuk selalu berbagi

titah raja terlaksana saat kawan meminta

karena asa untuk mencinta

saat setangan rajaku merengkuh aku

mencumbu diperaduan

kepercayaan

kerelaan

kesetiaan

dipertaruhkan untuk sebentuk

tulus kasih

kasih sejati

kesetiakawanan

yang ternyata tertukar dengan

kemunafikan

ketidak jujuran

dan nafsu

hujan bukanlah tirta untuk direguk

bukan batu untuk menyandung

bukan sembilu untuk membunuh
kini hujan t'lah pergi bersama terik mentari

kembali turun hanya untuk

memberi berkah atau bencana

sedangkan angin hanyalah angin

kentut pun jadi angin

menguap pun jadi angin

tanpa hujan, angin tak akan membuat badai

dan angin tetaplah angin

yang kini hanya bisa

menghembus

membelai

menatap lembut

sang rembulan yang selalu merindukan

sang malam

diaMmu...

friend, are u okay?

i know u hide something

there is sorrow behind your smile

but you keep silent with me

friend, why you to be mean with me?

i know you want me

leans your head to my shoulder

i know you want my hand

erase tear in your cheek

i know you miss my hugs

warms your heart

but you keep silent with me

u tOOk mY bReaTh aWay

it's 2 AM now, and i still cant close my eyes

im walk away...
watching the collage which stuck in my wall
watching the collage about me, you and other friends
touch ur picture
i read ur poems
i smile read your message
"your smile is oxigent for my breath"

but, im dying now
cause you took my breath away, my friend
you touched me
you gave sunrise
you taught me face this fate without tears
you are smart, you did it to make me dying
u went away never look at back

couldnt sleep well, cause hard to close this eyes
you are too charming in my mind
am i wrong if let u stuck on my brain?
impossible im breathing with helium or nitrogent
unacceptable with my lung
you are the meanest
cause you took my breath away, my friend
im dying alone without ur smile, cause
"your smile is oxigent for my breath"

u r the meanest, Cimut...

BonCuku Tersayang...

"nita, ada apa? kayaknya u lagi mikir sesuatu dech..." seperti biasa klo boncu mulai nanya kayak gitu, pasti dech matanya berkedip-kedip,mirip banget kayak miss piggy soale bulu matanya itu puaaanjang banget, gw sering mikir, cewek aja bulu matanya ga sepanjang dia.pastilah dulu waktu bayi mamanya teratur potong bulu matanya kalo boncu tidur."yah, jelaslah ada pikiran...umi tadi malem ngedumel lagi, biasalaaaah penyakit lama, selalu gitu kalo abis dari resepsi kawinan" sahut gw sambil tetep fokus mainin alluminium foil chocolate."walah...walah..., umi ama ayahmu tuh bener, mereka ngedumel karena mereka juga pengen cepet2 dipajang dipelaminan untuk dampingi kamu, diphoto bareng manten dan mantunya sang gatot koco...HO Ho HO Ho"...goda boncu sambil ngerebut alluminium foil yang udah lecek dari tangan gw...."bon, apaan sih...ga lucu tau'!!" dan kalo udah gitu gw pasti dech manyun kingkong...sementara boncu bakalan ngganggu gw terus dengan jolk-jolk konyolnya sampe kita pulang dari basecamp.

gw ketemu boncu lima bulan yang lalu, di cafe ini.gara-gara sms nyasar...selama sepuluh hari sms an, olok-olokan, judes-judesan ehh, begitu ketemu langsung lengket sampe sekarang. mungkin karena first impression yang begitu menggoda untuk selalu dikenang. saat gw datang, gw langsung duduk dimeja pinggir depannya cowok yang duduk sendiri membelakangi gw. gw sih EGP aja, entah dia udah tau gw ato ga, yang penting gw dateng cepet2an pesen lemon tea and muffin chocolate. buka buku empowering effectivity of school and liat catetan gw bentar sambil potong muffin pake pisau...baru mau makan muffin, ada sms "udah nyampe yah? ayoo coba tebak aq duduk disebelah mana?" gw bales "EGP u lagi duduk dimana, pokoknya muffin gw abis gw langsung cabut pulang, soale tugas book chapter uda mau kena deadline nih!"....eh 10 menit lagi ada sms balesan "wiihhh ga kurang tebal tah bukunya?yah wis aq sapa dech.."....dan belum masuk muffin yang gw kunyah kekerongkongan, cowok di belakang gw menyapa.."hi lampir, jangan judes po'o!!!...."...langsung dia pindah duduk didepan gw..."eh kenapa kamu ga mau nebak aku duduk dimana?" katanya sambil nyeruput fruit punch dingin..."siapa bilang gw ga mau nebak, lah gw duduk dibelakangmu ini dalam rangka apa? kenapa coba kok gw ga duduk deket cowok deket pintu sono?padahal dia lebih cakep kan..huahahahaha"...sambil mengelus kepalanya yang plontos dia menyeringai "iya ya...bener juga lo, gileeee, cuma kamu loh satu2nya yg bisa nebak aku kalo aku ini orang madura, padahal kan aku telepon kamu baru sekali yah...bener2 kaget aku waktu kamu sms kapan hari tuh...hebat..hebat..hebat, nih ada hadiah buat kamu!" sambil mengeluarkan chocolate delfi dua rasa dari saku jaketnya..."hah?..chocolate??...eh, makasiiihhh..." kata gw kegirangan, soale gw chocolateholic, dan ternyata dia bawain gw 5 batang chocolate dari segala rasa mulai campuran almond, susu sampe white chocolate...gw seneng banget.. dan kita pun udah mulai ngobrol panjang lebar tinggi luas dalam.. ..(ampyuunn kayak ngitung volume isi dan luas bidang aja!!) dan tak terasa kita ngobrol sampe malam, 5 jam duduk ngobras ga ngalor ga ngidul....semua dibahas.

Dikamar gw, jam segini gw masih belum bisa tidur...padahal udah jam 1 dinihari...tau napa ga bisa merem. sehari tadi bener-bener gw merasa bahwa dunia lagi ga bersahabat, kata kata boncu tadi siang benar-benar melekat diotak, mengiris hati... "Jika kamu emang mencintai aku, jadilah apa yang aku mau! jadilah sahabatku, aku mau nita yang saat aku pertama ketemu dulu!" Damn...gw bener2 ga tau mau ngomong apa, rasanya kepala gw cenut2 teringat terus ama kata2 itu...apa salah gw jika mencintai sahabat gw sendiri?kenapa dia begitu benci gw?sampe ga mau duduk bareng dicafe lagi?padahal dia udah putus ama pacarnya?...ntahlah, gw bingung dan ga tau harus ngapain...tanpa terasa gw buka lemari buku bagian bawah, kardus kecil pembungkus chocolate yang boncu beri waktu ramadhan 4 bulan kemaren gw ambil, sambil memegang kardus chocolate itu, gw nyalain Mp3 dari notebook gw, seperti biasa yang gw putar selalu sama, donna donna dari joan baez, aubrey dari bread lagu2 jadul lambreta banget. MP3 ini pun gw dapet dari boncu, disave ke harddisk notebook sewaktu nongkrong. kayak biasanya..lebih lengkap gw ndengerin pake headset punya boncu pula, ramadhan kemaren kita bertukar headset.dia pengen punya yang earphonenya gedean sedangkan gw butuh yang ada mic-nya soale biar bisa gw pake chatting voice sama chat mate gw biar bahasa inggrisnya ngewes...sambil mendengar alunan lagu i was the child-nya bee gees gw masih terngiang-ngiang ucapan boncu " aku ga suka jika kamu pake perasaan kalo duduk ama aku.." bukankah manusiawi jika merespon manusia lain dengan hati dan pikiran kita?apa dia pikir gw ini barbie?gw ini sadar banget kalo gw ini manusia hidup yang memiliki aliran darah, punya akal, dan punya otak limbik dan neokorteks yang bisa mengunakan nuraninya...kalo dia ga mau gw memakai perasaan, mending dia curhat aja ama tembok aman, dia mau ngoceh seenak udhelnya juga ga bakalan salah paham...entahlah, gw tetep saja bingung bahkan sampe gw terbangun dari tidur gw pun gw tetep masih ga ngerti bagaimana harus bersikap ama boncu...karena dia adalah Boneka luCu gw tersayang,sahabat gw terkonyol tetapi yang selalu gw cinta.